The Fear-Then-Relief
Scare them, then let them breathe. They’ll agree to anything in the exhale.
What it is
Someone gives you a sudden fright, then takes it away. In the moment of relief, your guard drops and you say yes more easily. Dariusz Dolinski and Richard Nawrat found this in 1998. In one study, drivers found a slip on their windshield that looked like a parking ticket. It turned out to be an advert. Right after that relief, they were more willing to help with a request. The relief, not the fear, does the work.
Spot it
A big scare that vanishes quickly, followed straight away by a request. “Good news, it’s not as bad as I thought. While I’ve got you...”
Counter it
After any relief, wait before agreeing to anything else. Say, “Great. Let me think about the rest.” The extra ask will still be there tomorrow if it’s real.