The Broken Record
Say it again, calmly, until they stop arguing.
What it is
You calmly repeat the same short sentence, no matter what the other person says. No new reasons. No raised voice. No getting pulled into their argument. It comes from assertiveness training, popularized by psychologist Manuel J. Smith in the 1970s. It works because it gives them nothing new to grab.
Why it works
People who push rely on getting you to engage: to explain, to defend, to argue the details. Each new thing you say gives them something to answer. Repeat yourself calmly and their arguments hit nothing. Most people work out you won’t move and give up. It keeps you calm too. No clever comebacks needed. Same line, again.
Spot it
Someone says the same thing no matter what you say. You feel ground down. You agree just to make it stop. It’s fine when it’s a customer asking for a fair refund. It’s not fine when it’s someone pressing you on your boundaries.
Counter it
- Recognize the pattern. “They’re just repeating. Nothing new has been said.”
- Use your own broken record. “I understand. My answer is still no.” Two can play.
- End the conversation. “We’ve both said our piece. I’m going to go now.”
- Don’t let exhaustion decide. If you feel worn down, say: “I’m not deciding anything now.” Then leave.