This is a pattern of control, not an influence tactic. It’s here so you can name it and get out of it.
What it is
Someone keeps changing their expectations, so you can never succeed.
Why it hooks people
It keeps you striving and off-balance, always chasing the approval that’s one step ahead.
Spot it
You meet a demand and a new one appears instantly. Praise is rare and conditional. Goals that are vague on purpose, so they can always change.
Counter it
Write expectations down. Ask for clear criteria. Recognize when the game is designed to be unwinnable, and stop playing it. If you can, talk it through with someone outside the relationship. They’ll see the moving line faster than you can.
